In Memoriam

Dan Kivel II, also known as Dan Kaye, was born into Eternity on May 28, 2006.

Much of Dan's life was online, and since this is an online church, it is fitting that his memorial be here as well.

In 2005, Dan, lived in New Orleans for about six months. He wasn't making it financially, and returned to Michigan shortly before Hurricane Katrina.

He didn't find a job in Michigan, so after Katrina, with all its devestation, he volunteered to go back to New Orleans with the Red Cross. He said at the time that he had a real feeling for the people, and, being unemployed, he was free to go.

He wound up assistant manager of a shelter, and planned to return. He said that helping like that made him feel alive.

After returning to Detroit, he volunteered with the Red Cross, and was involved in assessing buildings that had been involved in fires, to determine their habitability. After doing this for several months, he decided that he really wanted to return to the Gulf Coast to help those who had lost their homes after Katrina.

His second trip was with Americorps. He signed up for three months, and understood that he could extend his stay for another three or six months. His first month was in Pas Christian, Mississippi, after which his team moved to Bay St. Louis, Mississippi. He was primarily doing mold abatement, which included removing moldy materials and replacing them with new materials.

Sunday night, May 26, about 8 pm, he was wading in Bay St. Louis and was caught by a riptide. He struggled for wuite a while, but went under before help could arrive. His body was recovered when it washed ashore at about 6:00 Memorial Day evening.

Since that time, we have learned that the area where Dan was wading was known as treacherous locally, and warning signs had been posted. Those signs were lost in Katrina.

Dan said that working with the Red Cross and Americorps made him feel alive. What he did mattered. He spoke in awe about the people living in the shelter, which had been a Wal-Mart prior to Katrina, and said that most of them had never been outside their parish. Somehow, that made perfect sense to him. Everything they needed was inside the parish- why leave?

He is survived by his wife, Lori Kivel, both parents, Patti Cramer and Rev. Dan Kivel, his sisters, Charon Nogues and Shelley Kivel, a brother, Brian Kivel, a nephew, Jude Maxwell, and many aunts, uncles, and cousins.

Mahatma Ghandi taught, "We must be the change we want to see in the world." Dan did that. Dan believed in what he was doing- in the Mission, which was to rebuild people's lives and families by rebuilding their homes and removing the debris. He is missed in Bay St. Louis, as well as in Detroit and other places in the country.

Beloved God, take this your servant, and hold him in the palm of your hand. Raise him in the light of your face. Help to lift us also, so that we are able to follow his example, and believe in our mission with the passion and conviction he brought to his.

Amen.

The story of Dan does not end in Bay St. Louis! Scroll down for more.

Links: dankaye.com

Donations: American Red Cross

Americorps Dan Kivel II Fund
2001 Union Rd,
W. Seneca, NY 14224

Americorps is planning to build a picnic shelter in Bay St. Louis in Dan's honor.

There is one God that is Lord over the earth, and one Captain that is lord over the Pequod.

And when I shall die, take him and cut him up in little stars, and he will make the face of heaven so fine that all the world will fall in love with night and pay no worship to the garish sun.

Life goes by so fast
You only want to do what you think is right
Close your eyes and it's past
Story of my life

The story of Dan's life does not end in Bay St. Louis, MS. The following are some of the stories about things which have happened since Dan's transition.

The following is from Abby Gay:

Dan's friends Kate and Denis responded to my request for posthumous experiences with Dan.
This is Kate's:

The other day, I was sitting on the chair in the front room doing my Polish homework, and Oscar and Jim were in the bedroom. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw movement, and when I turned my head, Oscar's widget was scooting across the floor. It startled me, because it kept rolling. The first thing I thought of was Dan. I said "I know you want to play with Oscar, Dan, but he is sleeping right now." And the widget stopped. Haha, crazy!

This is Denis's

I see Dan often. It's usually out of the corner of my eye or in a crowd, but it's definitely him. I'm not one to believe in things like this, but happens often and I'm starting to believe.

Other than that, it always seems like I'm thinking about Dan when a song that reminds me of him comes on the iPod. The other day, I was cruising down I-4 and "Jolene" came on. It was right after I was thinking, "You know, Dan would have totally cabled this job differently than the asshole who did..." That kind of stuff strikes a cord with me.

Here are some of mine:

- When I first moved in to my Augusta apartment, I felt sad because he would have been living here with me. I fell asleep on the couch and dreamed very vividly that he was sitting on the sofa with me. He didn't say anything, he just held me in his arms, and I lay my head on his chest. It was so real, I could feel the cotton of his t-shirt against my cheek.

-I was talking to Dan's friend Kate on the phone when suddenly the television turned on by itself. I was in the dining room so I couldn't have accidentally sat on the remote. It startled me, but I laughed and offhandedly joked to Kate that is was probably Dan trying to watch Adult Swim. Then I looked at what was on the television.....it was, in fact, Adult Swim! Kate and I were both a little freaked out by this, but I laughed, and said, "Blackbird, you can watch my tv, but please don't startle me like that!"

I had another dream that we were traveling together cross country. I don't know what our eventual destination was but we stayed with a friend of his along the way. We were going by train and we always sat facing each other instead of side-by-side. When we would wait for our train we would stand on the platform in each others arms.

-In another dream, we were living together, and Dan came home to tell me he'd gotten this really great job he'd wanted. I don't remember what the job was, but it had "Rescue" in the title, so you know it was right up his alley. We were both so happy, we spent the rest of the dream cuddling and smiling at one another. I could smell the cigarettes on him and feel his whisker stubble against my cheek.
-The Medical College of Georgia campus has a fairly busy road running through it, but it has a series of crosswalks where, by law, cars must stop if they see students about to cross. Of course there is always the random moron behind the wheel. A car was coming that wasn't going to stop while I was crossing. Like a thought insertion, I heard this voice in my head say, "Abby, stop!" I stopped short of the lane, the car slammed on it's brakes, I didn't get hit. I felt Dan there very strongly, and I continued to feel him with me until I was inside the building where my classes take place. Then the feeling faded.

-I was cooking dinner, and I left the kitchen for a moment. I heard a loud clatter of something falling coming from the kitchen. When I went back in there, a pasta spoon was on the floor. I had placed this spoon /near the back/ of the stove, not near the front where it could have fallen on it's own. Something would have had to knock the spoon off of where I placed it. Dan had always said he would do most of the cooking when we lived together b/c he enjoyed it and wanted to cook for me. I wondered if it had something to do with that. I said, "Honey? You want to help me cook? Can you start by washing some of my dishes?" hehheh

-The same week that he died, while I was taking a shower, I broke down and started sobbing. I was crying so hard that I had to brace my body up against the shower wall. Like a thought insertion, I heard "Babygirl......" It was like a comforting whisper. Babygirl was Dan's term of endearment for me. It startled me b/c I knew it hadn't come from me. I grabbed my head and I kept saying to myself, "My God, what /was/ that??" But I knew it was Dan. I could feel him.

I've had more experiences than this, but I left out the ones that make any reference to my pregnancy since you are doing this for a paper. I hope these help you out!

-Love
Abby

From Paul and Becky Timmins:

the thing (an inverter) with the siren happened not even one week after Dan had passed
paul and I were watching tv and it went into its warning beeps then full
on alarm Paul didnt think much of it until the second time it happened
then he told Dan to stop screwing with that stuff no sooner did he say
that Dan stopped.

On my desk I have many toys/figurines but one change is I moved my
little pooh bear to the top of a well sealed jar of sand from the beach
where Dan was found. Above my desk because that is the best place for
this telco poster Paul has. I will say my first vist from Dan was the
first weekend of his passing. I noticed when i went t get a pop that
pooh bear was faceing the united states on the map. At that time I
really did not think much of it until it happened more frequently.

I can only recall on dream but I think it is more of a lucid dream Dan
and I are sitting on the couch sometime between the hours of noon and 4
PM . He started drinking the moment he walked in the door because at that
time he was still with Lori Pickett they had some sort of fight and he
was telling me about it. I told him to do what was right in his heart he
nodded and said nothing more. while later I started drinking too. we
watched some old movie then Paul came home.

Not sure how relevint this is to whats going on but I was waiting to
pick up Paul from work and the following song played on the radio:

<center> Into The Ocean
<i>I'm just a normal boy
That sank when I fell overboard
My ship would leave the country
But I'd rather swim ashore

Without a life that's sadly stuck again
Wish I was much more masculine
Maybe then I could learn to swim
Like 'fourteen miles away'

You're floating up and down
I spin, colliding into sound
Like whales beneath me diving down
I'm sinking to the bottom of my
Everything that freaks me out
The lighthouse beam has just run out
I'm cold as cold as cold can be
be

I want to swim away but don't know how
Sometimes it feels just like I'm falling in the ocean
Let the waves up take me down
Let the hurricane set in motion
Let the rain of what I feel right now...come down
Let the rain come down

Not knowing how to think
I scream aloud, begin to sink
My legs and arms are broken down
With envy for the solid ground
I'm reaching for the life within me
How can one man stop his ending
I thought of just your face
Relaxed, and floated into space

I want to swim away but don't know how
Sometimes it feels just like I'm falling in the ocean
Let the waves up take me down
Let the hurricane set in motion
Let the rain of what I feel right now...come down
Let the rain come down
Let the rain come down

Now waking to the sun
I calculate what I had done
Like jumping from the bow (yeah)
Just to prove I knew how (yeah)
It's midnight's late reminder of
The loss of her, the one I love
My will to quickly end it all
So thought no end my need to fall

Into the ocean, end it all
Into the ocean, end it all
Into the ocean, end it all
into the ocean...end it all

[Zayra]
Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)
Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)
Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)

I want to swim away but don't know how
Sometimes it feels just like I'm falling in the ocean
Let the waves up take me down
Let the hurricane set in motion (yeah)
Let the rain of what I feel right now...come down
Let the rain come down
Let the rain come down

Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)
(In to space)
Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)
Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)
Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)
Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)
Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)
(I thought of just your face)
Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)
Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)
Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)
Into the ocean (goodbye) end it all (goodbye)</i></center>

hearing that song gave me chills I thought it might have been Dan
speaking to me though a song but there are just a few parts that do not
fit with what Dan and I had. I do hope though the stories are small they
will help. paul and I have no problems with our real names being used.